On June 8, 2012 I will turn twenty-three years old. To me,
that seems like, (probably because it HAS BEEN) a lifetime. I have witnessed
over two-decades of the existence of the Earth and its inhabitants first-hand.
Surely, I think, I must have something to show for it. So what have I learned?
I have learned, first and foremost, that I know nothing.
Twenty-three years is hardly enough time to even SEE the world, much less
understand it. There is so much more to do, to see, to feel, to accomplish,
that one could spend eons on just one small portion of this great sphere. I
have also learned that the world is round.
I know that whether you want to or not, your whole life is
spent learning. My father always claims you have 100 units of ‘smarts’ to
distribute at your leisure and it is what you choose to do with that brain
capacity that determines who you are. So choose what you learn wisely. Some
cannot be helped – the situation you were born into, the people who surround
your formative years, the way you look and act and how that compares with
socially accepted concepts of ‘beautiful’ and ‘intelligent’ and ‘normal.’ But
some things CAN be adjusted and manipulated to better serve your own purposes –
who YOU choose to spend your time with, what YOU choose to read, what YOU allow
yourself to see and hear and do – are all part of what determine who you are
and how you react to life as it comes at you.
So take every experience, and glean
from it what you can. Use what you have been given – what cards you have been
dealt – and try to derive a possible lesson. What did you like about what just
happened? Would you change your approach to the situation if you had to do it
over? What would you do differently? What WILL you do differently next time, if
there is a next time? Take every situation, be it positive or negative in your
eyes, and learn from it.
I have learned to always, always, ALWAYS enjoy little
things. If you are sitting in a terrible meeting at work, enjoy the warm cup of
coffee you are holding in your hands, even while your boss explains to you why
your project went horribly awry. If you are driving in traffic and you can see
that you will REMAIN in traffic for the next hour, enjoy the music playing on
the radio, or turn off the radio and enjoy the relative silence. If you are
burning time before a dentist appointment, take a second to observe the beauty
of the flowers in the pot next to the chair you are sitting in, or in the
painting on the wall. As my grandmother
always says “there is beauty everywhere. You just have to find it.”
I have learned to always try hard. Looking back at the
things I have done and the places I have been, that I’m only truly proud of the
things I worked hard on. Natural talent is great, and success is commendable,
but if you breeze through life, what do you have to show for it? The things you
win are empty if you haven’t poured yourself into it. Cookies always taste
better when you make them yourself, and accomplishments are always worth more
if you’ve poured yourself into them.
I have learned the importance of making an effort to
understand yourself. Go to whatever lengths you need to – take personality
exams, ask people you trust, spend some time alone sitting and pondering WHO
YOU ARE and what makes you, YOU. It may take years and years, and you MAY
change, but be aware of your habits, your tendencies, your preferences, and
your faults. It will help you understand why other people react towards you the
way they do, and help you be knowledgeable in regards to how you react towards
others as well. Strive to be self-aware.
Also, strive to improve yourself. Once you know who you are,
or even if you are still on the road to making that discovery, you can
hopefully uncover flaws in your being – traits that you find undesirable, and
wish to eradicate. The ones I find most often in myself are fears and bad
habits. When I uncover a fear I wish to conquer, I purposefully throw myself
into situations causing me to have to conquer, or at least confront, that fear.
They are never pleasant endeavors, but I always feel a sense of pride in myself
at the conclusion, knowing I am on the path to improvement – that I am striving
towards excellence.
I have learned to, when possible, try to grasp a better
understanding of people. If someone is exhibiting an annoying behavior, or seems
to be doing something you can’t explain, try to become as much like Sherlock
Holmes as possible, and derive from what you can observe. The more insight you can glean from people’s
behaviors, the better you can curb your actions to cater to their needs/wants/feelings.
It may seem to some like you’re being a bit of a brown-noser at times, but it’s
also essential to being a good friend, (I’m told) a good spouse, and just a
good person in general.
I have learned to laugh. Everyone tells you this, but it’s
only becoming more evident as time goes on, and I experience more & more of
my life. Some things you just don’t have any power over, and so as opposed to
stressing yourself (or other people!) out over it, just laugh. Even if it’s not
funny, even if it has to be in your head or it’ll be horribly rude. Laugh.
Laugh at good jokes, laugh at funny faces, laugh at cruel irony, laugh to ease
tension, DON’T laugh at other people unless you can find a way to let them
laugh WITH you, but essentially, try to find the bright spot in the clouds, and
it will lead you to the sunshine.
I’m sure I’ve learned many other things – the importance of
showering, how to shake hands and look someone in the eye, don’t wear plaid,
stripes, and polka dots all at once… but sometimes those are just more fun to
figure out all on your own. No one will, (or SHOULD!) hand you the step-by-step
handbook to life before you get started because, after all, what fun would that
be?
May God Bless you and Keep you,
-Elisabet
